


Blindness

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Awkward Romance, Bickering, Blind Armitage Hux, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, Mutilated Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Virgin Armitage Hux, Virgin Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:00:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: As punishment for their failures, Supreme Leader Snoke mutilates Ren's face - giving him a reason to hide behind his mask - while leaving General Hux a blind man and the object of scorn among those who were once his unwilling subordinates.These circumstances lead Ren to act upon feelings which he had long kept hidden, taking advantage of Hux's vulnerable position - hoping to make him yield to that which he would never otherwise consider.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 52





	Blindness

Kylo Ren took the general by the arm, leading him away from the crew and idle figures who had gathered about the control room. The blind man allowed himself to be led, moving as if in a daze, leaning into the firm grasp which pulled him he knew not where. Beneath his mask, Kylo bore a scowl across his face, feeling both anger and disappointment which knew no bounds for his comrades, the Supreme Leader and General Hux himself. As he looked at the general’s expression, it struck him as one of a confused invalid – bearing in it the unbecoming signs of embarrassment and dismay, followed by a submissive resignation which made Kylo wonder if he ought not to have left him there – if the man was too weak in spirit for the future that awaited them both. That the risk which he had borne was squandered in vain.

Someone had tampered with the signal of the device which allowed Hux to perceive his surroundings, and yet, this audacious person, yet to be identified, could have done far worse given how closely the technology was linked to the general’s brain. All knew that it was but a matter of time before the announcement of Hux’s demotion came and so they took liberties which they would not have otherwise dared. While some still bore him respect, despite the unforgivable failing of Star Killer base, there were many who had thought Hux to be too inexperienced to take on such a proud and lofty bearing over the heads of men who had served longer and imperiled their lives, overlooked for Brendol’s bastard son. They relished seeing him made a fool of, public humiliation was well known to them as being the signal from the Supreme Leader for such persons as were marked out for execution, work camps, or a life worse than that of a slave. Gathering himself off the floor, Hux could feel the eyes of his subordinates upon him as they watched him with the eagerness of a pack of hyenas.

He grit his teeth and brushed off his uniform, turning to leave and stumbling into someone who pushed him back roughly to the accompaniment of laughter. Hux heard the exchange of cruses and blows, and a pressure upon his shoulder – a silent signal to keep still, and then, the sound of a cracking neck, at which he instinctively flinched, surprised to find that it was not his own. Then, a heavy silence filled the room with grave suspense.

Nothing, nothing but footsteps which approached him against the beat of a palpitating heart, the blood rushing through his veins. He felt like a mesmerized animal that knew not where to run, that it was out of his hands, reminding him of distant years which he long fought to forget.

For an instant Hux thought of reaching for his weapon, half suspecting the man who had gained control of his unwelcome audience. The same invisible force pushed against his back, leading him out like a shadow. A body fell to the floor with a heavy thud, the doors hissing to a close behind them.

It was then that Hux had felt someone grasping his arm.

“You kriffing fool”

“R-Ren,” he heard Hux’s voice, as if at last awakening from his trance.

“Keep walking”

“Where are we going?”

They paused in the hall and Kylo cursed, looking about to see if there was anyone there who might overhear them.

“We will talk in my chambers,” whispered Ren, his brow furrowing as he tried to consider what they ought to do. He realized then how naturally he had arrived at the conclusion that he and Hux would be intertwined in their disfavor and misfortune. The general did not yet know that it was not he alone who had incurred the Supreme Leader’s wrath, and for a time Kylo believed he might indulge in keeping to himself this revelation.

“Fine,” mumbled Hux.

“I am curious as to what you would have done if I had not stepped in,” said Ren, not willing to admit to himself that he was annoyed by the man’s apparent lack of gratitude.

“Why should that matter to you,” Hux did not know how to answer him while saving face except for by evasion, or by what motive Ren had interceded for him. Ever since the Supreme Leader had maimed him his natural mistrust had increased, leaving him in a state of constant wariness that was taking its toll on his sleep and concentration.

“Should I have let them do it?”

“Do what?”

“Kill you”

“They would not have killed me,” Hux scoffed. In truth he felt less certain.

“Do you think you were but the evening’s entertainment then?” said Ren condescendingly, “I see that you would not begrudge them that much”

“What would you have had me do?”

“You are not safe here, do you understand,” said Ren, a certain vehemence in his tone that startled Hux from the protests which he was about to make, reluctant to admit the situation for what it was. In truth he was in dread of certain recollections from his youth, of one who had been made a laughingstock by his peers for months until he was found hanging by the throat in the boys’ dormitory.

“And why is it exactly that you thought to involve yourself?” Hux asked, wishing to turn the line of questioning upon the other.

“That is my business, you will do well to obey and keep yourself out of sight”

“And who are you to give me orders?” fury rose to the surface after weeks of self-restraint, although a part of him sensed that this was not the man upon whom to revenge himself.

“In case you have not learnt your lesson General, your commanding presence shall not be borne lightly by your enemies, the subtle ranks of authority have shifted,” said Ren, unmoved by Hux’s temper, save to a sensation of pleasure – for he enjoyed seeing him roused to show emotion, having grown used to a reserved and superior demeanor – a facade through which he wished to gain a glimpse.

“Indeed it has not escaped my noticed,” said Hux with a strained effort to keep his composure, “but I have not sunk quite so low as to place myself into your hands”

“Then you decline my unspoken offer?”

“Do I understand correctly that you wish to offer yourself as my protector?” Hux laughed derisively, reacting in the manner which he believed was expected, while something deeper within him was still processing the meaning of Ren’s motives.

“I shall watch over you, certainly, with or without your willingness. As you have not the sustenance of your former rank and ambition, nor any ally to rely upon, I am surprised at your reluctance”

“What makes you so sure that I have no worthier allies than yourself?”

“They are all too cowardly, self-serving or world-wise to entangle themselves with the lot of one as damnable as you,” he spoke with cruel frankness.

“And you admit yourself to be a valiant altruistic idiot in comparison?” Hux knew that an irresistible part of himself was rebelling against this unlikely source of help, certain that it was some kind of snare or further mockery. Perhaps Ren sought to reserve the pleasure of torturing him all to himself, he could not help but conjecture, and so he instinctively provoked him to show his hand.

“You are left to the mercy of the Supreme Leader, a quality in which he does not demonstratively excel in, am I to believe that you are prepared to shun my protection?”

“You evade a plain answer to all of my questions,” said Hux, determined to know where he stood with Ren. “It is reasonable for me to be suspicious of you, given our charming history,” he smiled sarcastically, “Yes, I am quite in disbelief at your actions and your offers Ren – what is it that you hope to get from me?”

“You shall have your answer, in due time. For now you must trust and obey me”

“That is to ask much”

“Nevertheless, I believe you shall consent,” he replied with a characteristic arrogance which Hux longed to defy, and yet he knew that to do so might be against his best interests.

“What are you to be to me then, will you tell me at least that? said Hux, an amused expression playing upon his lips. “What strange means you use, Ren to invite another’s confidence and friendship”

“I am not your friend Hux, I am your keeper”

“My keeper? I dare say I do not understand your meaning”

“You will,” he answered curtly, leading him onward as he observed a guard making his way down the hall. “And I believe I have offered suitable evidence of my trustworthiness, extricating you from this recent confrontation, one of many to come if you decide that you have no need of me”

“Again I wonder at what _need_ you have of me – surely it must be great,” he uttered the question which continued to vex him the longer it was left unanswered. “We have hardly been on amiable terms – indeed I am surprised that you are not amongst those pleased to see my downfall”

“You know me very little”

“I do not endeavor to deny it,” replied Hux, “but to think that you helped me out of mere benevolence, that is difficult for me to swallow – I presume that I know you well enough not to be as naive as that”

“Then you leave much to presumption,” said Ren, unlocking the door to his chambers.

“And yet I am here,” he smiled mirthlessly.

“You are desperate, soon you will have no choice but to make up your mind about me and the risks _you_ are willing to take”

Hux said nothing, feeling it to be useless to contradict him when he spoke with such a knowing air. He would allow Ren to believe what he liked, judging him closely for anything that might serve him. It was well that the man underestimated him.

“For now, you may follow passively and avoid committing yourself – but by the end of the night, I shall require a definitive answer. You will be made to understand”

The man wondered if there was a threat in these matter-of-fact words.

“It is fine, to be weak now – I see through you already, how tired you are Hux. Here you may rest”

Armitage heard the door opening and followed, feeling a peculiar reassurance in the pressure of the hand holding on to him as he staggered into the room, feeling the weight of the future to come as he imagined a life of dependence upon a former rival, perhaps a life which he would not long need to call his own. Those with such debilitating conditions, those unfit for service, were quickly marked out for cruelty and alienation – it was but a matter of time before he was crudely disposed of, thought Hux, if Ren or the Supreme Leader did not seek their satisfaction first.

This fear led him to remember past signs of Ren’s subtle interest in him, his impromptu intervention in taking him away after his public torture and humiliation reminded him of the unceremonious manner in which the Supreme Leader took his eyesight from him – burning and carving him with the force until he screamed in agony from the searing pain, bringing him to his knees as Ren stood and watched. For a second, before all vanished in red -- in impenetrable darkness -- he thought he saw a look in Kylo‘s eyes that he had never observed before.

He seemed almost thunderstruck, feeling revulsion and perhaps a strange relief that it was not him that suffered so – for surely it could not have been pity, nor fear, that would disturb the impassive countenance of the knight. 

“You will sleep here tonight,” said Ren, turning off all but a single dim light in his quarters and locking the door, his voice startling Hux from these disquieting recollections.

“Why?” Hux felt him remove his coat and then lead him to sit down upon the bed. He complied with these ministrations, feeling too weary of strength to protest against that which he felt he only _ought to_ find disagreeable.

“We will be safer that way, together,” a sympathy permeated his voice as he looked down at the broken man.

“Together?” a part of him latched onto the word, feeling that it was uttered with a tone of significance.

“Yes,” Ren removed his mask and sat down beside him, “here,” his hands grasped those of Hux, removing his gloves and leading them up to his face so that the cold fingertips touched the skin of his cheek, his lips, his neck.

“Ren –“

“Do you understand?” Kylo searched his face, feeling both mournful and frantic, recollecting the means by which Snoke inflicted his own wounds, marring his face into something barely human – unrecognizable even to himself. The only distinction which had been made between himself and the general was that no one else was present to behold his punishment, the only sign of respect which might have given Ren some trifling hope of redemption, were it not that his vengeful anger far exceeded his desire to find forgiveness and merit in the eyes of his old master. He dared not gaze in a mirror glass ever since that day, lest it should awaken his destructive emotions before their proper time – certain that they would find their mark either upon Snoke, or thus failing, upon himself.

He had told no one, hiding his shame behind the mask. Only in one man was he willing to confide – his misery having led him to pursue comfort in romanticized self-delusions with greater frequency and zeal, until he was no longer satisfied with the fantasy of a dark love – rapaciously desiring to grasp at the hidden depths of an untouchable man, whose distant and methodical memory haunted him the more so as he watched the gradual decline of Hux’s authority within the Order. He would take him at his most vulnerable, Ren promised himself, and together they would meet their end. 

“He...he did this to you?” Hux tried to draw away his hand but Kylo held it there, pressed against the lacerated flesh which had turned to scars. In that moment the general felt almost glad for his blindness, sparing him from the hideous sight.

“Yes,” said Kylo, saddened by the revulsion that even a sightless man expressed.

Hux did not know what to say, unaccustomed to giving sympathy or commiseration, his mouth gaped for a moment as he searched for words by which to break the silence.

“You have chosen a useless ally,” he said at last.

“We both bear the black mark of the leper now, you are naturally my ally – unless you would rather meet your fate alone,” listening, Armitage perceived at once that he had displeased him.

Despite his efforts, Hux was affected by the submissive, almost beseeching tone with which Ren spoke, believing that he too had felt the burden of isolation, the fallibility of self-reliance when faced with obstacle after obstacle. A certain hopelessness had set in within the hearts of both men, rendering them exposed to showing such weakness as had long been banished to the depths of shadows.

“What is it that you are proposing Ren?” said Hux cautiously.

“I-I do not know, only I wish not to be alone, nor to leave you to your destruction, not tonight,” he felt embarrassed to be so ill equipped for persuasion, yet something in him urged him to speak the frank words by which he surrendered a part of himself to Armitage.

Hux huffed, smirking sardonically on the verge of nervous laughter, unprepared for open sentimentality. His instincts told him that he must scorn and recoil from it, how ridiculous it all was – unthinkable. Ren was deranged. There was no other response he could make while maintaining his self-respect, his dignity, his influence. 

Suddenly, he felt a slap across the face. The general rose to his feet, as if preparing for a confrontation.

“You laugh?” Ren too stood up, “You laugh?” he repeated, “is this amusing to you?” his hands trembling with contradicting desires of both violence and neediness, feeling the injury of the other’s response.

“That was quite unnecessary,” Hux muttered, rubbing his cheek, “I am surprised, that is all,” he tried to appease him before Ren went on to strangle him, or so he imagined.

“I am in earnest,” Kylo continued, “I will have you,” he wanted to clasp him in his arms but restrained himself in time, knowing that it would be an act from which he could not walk away from.

“ _Have_ me?” Hux grimaced, “I believe you are right, that I presume too much – there is something that needs to be...clarified here”

“I am sorry General, but it infuriates me – to see you so callous when I – when I speak of that which might condemn me”

“You have spoken very little to condemn yourself, or else I am too tired to see it,” Hux interrupted. “Truly, I am at a loss as to how you expect me to conduct myself when you have these...fits of temperment. Of course, as you hold me captive in your chambers, I have little choice but to listen”

Hux waited, but received no answer.

“Really Ren,” he sighed in exasperation, “Correct me if I am being ridiculous myself in this instance, for it is quite possible that I misunderstand your strange behavior – what we are discussing here, now, is it your...um...oh must I say it? I suppose we could call it...your natural urges? Although I cannot help but be surprised at the...object of them,” Hux sat back down upon the edge of the bed, half expecting another blow or perhaps a threatening outburst, for as the words left his lips he greatly regretted them as an imprudence. Only he was growing impatient with uncertainty for more reasons than he was willing to fully acknowledge.

Ren turned from him, swallowing hard. He knew that he was wavering between confessing his desires more forcibly and leaving himself enough room to deny his deeper feelings if need be. So far he had expressed but a need for companionship, a loneliness – there was still time to evade his unnatural longing and to save himself from placing his faith in Hux. And yet, he remembered how much he had wanted Hux to trust in _him_. With all of these considerations, Ren found it difficult to make up his mind – he was afraid above all else to receive a rejection, and surely such a rejection that would do its worst upon his ego and his untried heart.

“It is something I cannot speak of, not as you press me to,” Ren answered at last, feeling that he could not delay any longer.

“I see,” this the general took as sign in itself. “I have given you no signs of encouragement, I should think,” Armitage was pleased to behold that the positions of power had been reversed. At the same time, he wished to be reassured that there was nothing that may incriminate him in return – for an inkling of doubt remained by which he feared he had betrayed something of himself to Ren which he had yet to own even to his own conscience.

“You have not,” Ren answered begrudgingly, fearing that he had allowed his feelings to carry him further than he had intended that night – for he had planned a slow and cautious wooing, or else an unrestrained and forceful one, should Hux reject him outright. Yet he had not planned for this evasiveness on the general’s part, holding him in a frustrated suspense, while making him making further and further admissions of his own hidden emotions.

“Then what has given you reason to hope?”

“I have no reason save for that you are alone and perhaps plagued by the same needs as I am – I have therefore come to you at a time when you would be most receptive, but if I am mistake, that is of no consequence,” Ren lied.

“I must say, I am disgusted,” said Hux. 

“Do not misunderstand me – I do not wish to force that which might be freely given”

“As a matter of preference?” he furrowed his brow. So that was what Ren meant by ‘having’ him, he had no doubt.

“Yes,” Ren felt uncomfortable playing the part of one who was selfish and cruel, driven merely by lust, but was afraid to show further weakness given that Hux gave him little to so much as hint at a reciprocated attachment.

“And you think I will submit to being your whore-slave?” Hux’s lip twitched.

“I do,” Ren forced the repungent words, his voice felt hoarse and his cheeks burned with an embarrassment which he was glad Hux was unable to see. Still, he would rather be a heartless man than one wounded.

“Yes, I suppose you are right -- what choice do I have,” Hux thought bitterly as he considered the other’s meaning when he said that he came to claim him at a time when he was most susceptible – weak, isolated, unable to fight back. Yet the sardonic smile vanished as he imagined Ren’s mien, something between a blubbering child and a violent psychopath, not knowing which aspect was the stronger.

“No!” Ren said angrily after reaching into the other’s thoughts, taking a step closer to the bed.

“No?” Hux was startled by the sudden outburst.

“I do not wish to take advantage of your situation, not in that way,”

“Is that not what you said?”

He heard Kylo make a growling noise of frustration.

“It is not what I had wished to say”

“Then why did you? Have you betrayed yourself by your --”

“I did not betray myself, that is – I have done worse harm by attempting to retreat from a point of no return,” Ren struggled to find the words, desiring to make some kind of apology, taking back the dark tinge he had cast over his intentions. “Perhaps you have to pull yourself together, we shall discuss this at a later time, when you are more composed”

“I? I need to pull myself together?” said Hux in outrage. “You are the one holding me hostage and threatening to rape me, if I understand correctly, nevertheless it is I who needs to ‘compose’ myself. Really Ren”

“General –“ 

“And as you have so clearly pointed out,” Hux interrupted, “there is no need to call me ‘General’. While your powers protect you, _my_ days are surely numbered – for I doubt that this whim of yours will endure. For I am hardly the practiced lover to satiate your ravenous lust”

“Silence!” Kylo could not endure to be spoken to in such a way, to have his hitherto private feelings mocked at, to be made to seem like a fiend. And yet, he remembered that it was he himself who had tried to fashion himself so rather than admit to a softer affection, even one that must surely be an illusionary daydream. What was there in Hux that had ever led him to hope to find a human soul there? Him of all people.

“No, I shall not be silent,” Hux scowled at him, feeling that his patience was at an end, “I will not be your creature”

“Yes, I suppose you are right – Armitage” said Ren somberly, “if you do not place yourself in my care, if you cannot bring yourself to trust me, then your days are indeed few – and all the better that it is so, for a weak and dishonored man’s existence is as contemptible to others as it is to himself. I do not care for you as my whore, but I doubt that one of your kind would understand that there are other kinds of attachment than the sort which is common enough amid the ranks of the First Order,” it took all that he had not to mention Hux’s parentage, but something in the other’s expression told him that even this vague allusion was not lost upon him.

“Perhaps you were correct in saying earlier, that we know little of one another – leaving much to misunderstanding,” he felt it strange to hear the sound of that name, one he had not heard for many years, his hands clenching at the insults which he struggled not to meet with his own – knowing that his abilities to overpower Ren were negligible in his condition if he should bring down the other’s anger upon himself. “H-how did you...why do you call me --”

“Armitage,” he repeated, “I read your files. It is only a name, after all – and yet you have taken such efforts to bury it. I feel likewise, about my beginnings”

“Is that all you discovered to pique your interest – a name?” Hux knew the answer he would receive.

“No, I read all that I could find”

“Why?”

“Because your coldness excited my fascination and the more you seemed to despise me, the more I wanted to see you submit to me,” answered Ren, his tone was oddly soft as it expressed his domineering intent.

“Did you find anything useful to conquer me by?” Hux felt both disturbed and oddly flattered by this confessed fascination, the true nature of which he could only guess at between Ren’s wavering and contradictions, and yet he felt an unaccountable confidence in this guess as he felt Ren unwrap the bandages over his wounded eyes with a trembling hand. “What are you doing?” spoke Hux, some of his anger subsiding such that there was a slight awkward bashfulness in his voice.

“Possibly, but I will speak no more of it – we have more pressing matters to discuss,” Ren beheld the hideous injury, the black clotted blood where once blue eyes had looked back at him with defiance and contempt. It unnerved Hux to have the other see him, but he made no effort to prevent him, not certain what he meant by this peculiar curiosity – if he could call it so. For a hopeful instant, Hux wondered if Ren might heal him, but he knew that even the force did not possess such powers. “I want to see what he has done to you, I want to see...all that you are,” said the dark-haired man in a whisper, nervous yet daring.

Hux felt the stubble of the other’s cheek as it was pressed against his and the pressure of a hand against his own, clasping his fingers gently. He did not know how to react, his breath felt labored, something like electricity rushing through him at the unmistakeable affection of an awkward embrace. There was an innocence in it which touched Armitage’s willingness to submit further than more passionate words or deeds, forcing from him a slight moan as he perceived the trembling of Ren, a closeness and intimacy which seemed both foreign and familiar – like something he might have known in another lifetime.

“What are these matters then?” said Armitage when at last the warmth of the other’s body drew away, feeling the back of a hand caress his face along his cheekbone, a gentleness which he did not imagine Ren possessed, “...and these...uninvited acts,” his voice grew soft with undecided feelings as he spoke on.

“You know what they are, may we leave their meaning unspoken?” answered Ren, fearing the other’s reaction despite the signs – the flush of his face, the unsteadiness of his voice, the arousal which he longed to encourage further.

There was a long pause, during which Ren drew away his hand, observing Hux closely.

“We may,” the general said at last feeling in the air in front of him until he grasped Ren’s robe.

“You are in need of rest,” Kylo forced himself to say, afraid that he would go too far and mar what hope had been sown forever, imagining that Hux was less prone than himself to such longings. He wished to prove to him that he would wait willingly, despite his arrogant words, wait for Hux to welcome and encourage his advances.

“Y-yes, I am,” Hux felt obliged to admit, yet a part of him was wounded by the words that seemed to put an end to that which he had but tasted, leaving him in want.

“You will sleep by my side tonight,” said Ren, finding a certain satisfaction in the disappointment which Hux’s expression could not fully hide.

“T-thank you”

Ren felt his stomach churn with the pleasure at these unexpected words, grasping at this further sign that his warmth of feeling was not disagreeable to Hux. It made him repent of his former thoughts, of keeping the general against his will – wrongly imagining that there was little humanity left in the indoctrinated First Order general, and less so in himself, pitying the twisted state that the both of them had come to in the absence of trust, love, and genuine human connection.

Hux’s face burned with a bittersweet sensation as Ren gathered him into his arms, holding him for a long time before at last releasing him and assisting the man in stripping to his underclothing to rest beneath the covers. It was a new experience for both of them, to rest in the arms of another, succumbing to the comforting warmth of another human being which bore them the early flames of affection. They knew that they had not long to remain so, that their illusion of safety would not last, and yet that night no shades of past or future haunted their repose, the sweetness of the present being too rare and valuable to be allowed to slip away into darkness. When the time came, they would meet their grim fate together.


End file.
